In case my ex ever reads this…

So, it’s 3am in London and I just wanna get everything off of my chest.
Shit, I dunno why the fuck I’m doing this, but I’m gonna regret it later on today.
Why the fuck don’t we talk anymore? Oh yeah, now I remember, cos every time we do, I feel like dying inside knowing you’re happy with someone else and I’m still here suffering without you. I fucking wish you never left me, I wish I changed everything back then and we were still happy and shit right now. I wish we were still together, we were great, perfect, etc. I wish I fucking helped you more  and gave you more of a reason not to leave. You have NO idea seeing how much it fucking BURNS MY HEART just knowing you’re with someone else. I’ve never suffered so much pain before in my fucking life, you’re who I wanted, I needed, but obviously the feeling wasn’t mutual.
I don’t get how you could just leave like that, and not give a fuck. What emotionless, heartless creature could do that? Was it not genuine? Fuck…

All I ever wanted to do was to make you proud, to keep you to myself and to make everything okay, whilst having the most perfect girl that understands me in the world to make me happier than I ever was….but I guess that was too good to be true….
Even though you did hurt me, as in, a simple break. A SIMPLE FUCKING BREAK AND YOU’RE WITH SOMEONE ELSE?! :\ You have no idea how much I cried as soon as you told me that, forreal.
Practically I’ve been cheated on at least once, does that mean I technically never was 100% your everything? :\
However, even though you hurt me, I still feel like I can forgive you for all of that and just rebuild what we had. A year and a month. Fuck.
I don’t know why but even though it’s May right now, you left me in March and yet I’m still not over you. I’ve changed in so many ways because of you, yet you don’t know any of it. I just wish I actually mattered to you…I just wished that everything I did was genuinely enough to keep you with me, you were everything I needed, my motivation, my happiness, my escape from reality, you were all of that. But instead of making me forget about my other ex that broke my heart….you did exactly what she did to become her.

:\ fuck love, I’m done trying with this shit.